Sunday, December 5, 2010


Whoops, real life and non-rpg projects swallowed me whole for five months. James from Grognardia recently inspired me with a nice juxtaposition of words: Petty Gods. I like that. You can put together two words from opposite ends of the glory spectrum (e.g. feculent angel, diffident Christ, pristine carnality) and something new and beautiful occurs.

Recent investigations have delved perhaps too deeply into the abject and the irrelevant to be of interest to members of this community but it is possible I might dip my foot back in here from time to time.

Name: Chulg
Symbol: Neusis construction diagram of the interior angles of a regular heptagon
Alignment: Lawful
Movement: 30’ (10’)
Armor Class: -3
Hit Points (Hit Dice): 7 (56hp)
Attacks: See Below
Damage: See Below
Save: C7
Morale: 12
Hoard Class: nil
XP: 1100

If certain ancient malachite funerary ornaments are disturbed when the moon is gibbous there is a 4% chance that Chulg will descend through a cartilaginous rift from seven-dimensional pseudo-space, arriving in 1d4 rounds. Upon arrival Chulg will recite a series of charges against the offender with a hideous voice that sublimates reality, causing the air to burn within 60’ and causing 2d8 damage per round to anyone within that radius. The recitation will last 3d4 rounds upon which time Chulg will return to its place of origin for 3d100 years.

Chulg’s visage is so utterly loathsome as to cause fear (as a 7th-level magic-user) to anyone that looks upon it.

Chulg is immune to non-magical weapons and all spells of less than third level.

The propitiation of Chulg was undertaken by worshippers whose origins are lost in deep time. Its manifestation seems to be associated, to a lesser extent, with the breaching of certain taboos regarding heptagonal objects. Since few understand the specific conditions that will incur Chulg’s attention, judicious avoidance of heptagons is often held to be the best policy.

Reaction Table for Heptagonal Blasphemies (roll 2d12)

2-5 Chulg merely peers through a vortex from the Gulches of Schlaem. Explosive decompression ensues, all characters within 20’ must save vs. petrification or be sucked into the vortex to their deaths.

6-7 Chulg manifests as a flickering 2-dimensional image tottering on the edge of reality, invulnerable to attack. In this form it causes fear as normal but does nothing else until it flickers out of existence after 1d3 rounds.

8-13 Chulg partially manifests inside the body of an offending character in order to remove part of their bile duct before disappearing again. This causes 2d10 damage.

13-20 Chulg appears and sings the Green Lullaby, causing voice damage as above for one round and acting as a hold person cast by a 7th-level Magic-user. Chulg then confiscates any heptagons and returns to its place of origin.

21-24 For some reason Chulg exudes a buttery green substance that renders anyone who rubs it on their body invisible (as cast by M-U7). 1d3 smearings of this substance are left. In such cases Chulg appears, exudes and leaves within 2 rounds.


  1. WHOAH!!!!! WHAT TEH...... CHUG!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Holy 7-sided-non-Euclidean-What-the-Ftagn Batman! This is just...mind melting.

    I posted my petty god Tau on my new blog IX. Let me know what you think?

  3. Good to have you back blogging, Tom--and quite a post to come roaring back with! You had me at "a cartilaginous rift from seven-dimensional pseudo-space."

  4. Chulg then confiscates any heptagons and returns to its place of origin.
    In such cases Chulg appears, exudes and leaves within 2 rounds.

    Can't stop laughing. Ow! Ow! My bile duct!

  5. @Chris /Agree.

    The face that he just arrives, starts accusing you of all kinds of Heptagonal Misdemeanours and thus incinerates you and everything nearby, is purely excellent.